Perfect Childhood ....

It is amazing how things that I thought were 'bad news' can actually turn into good things. It is really hard for me to see that as 'it' is happening, as I'm sure it is for other people. I'm really trying to open myself up to whatever God wants for me. That is really hard for someone who likes to have everything planned, everything in order, and everything controlled. I've never gone through hard times growing up. My parents were always together and we always had everything that we needed. I was good at school, good at sports, confident, and a happy kid. I never had grandparents, friends, or animals die. I never had someone lie to me, I never felt alone. I never had to grieve, never had to be disappointed, and never had "go through" anything. Why am I complaining? I'm not. My childhood was close to perfect. However, I never had to face any problems or any disappointments so NOW I don't know what to do. I completely flip out and cannot cope. I feel as though my life is spinning out of control when in reality it is just a little speedbump.

I'm not saying that I would change it ...that I would want to go through bad stuff as a kid so maybe I would be better at it later on if life. I'm not sure that it makes it easier. However, it makes me realize that people's lifes are unique. That everything goes full circle. The kid that has hardships growing up might be better prepared for the real world that is full of disappointments. Or maybe they lose faith in the world because everyone has let them down. That they believe everything is going to turn out badly so they don't even try. That their parents were 'not there' for them, treated them badly, disappointed them, and didn't care about their education. So.... they will follow that 'normal' example and do the same for their kids.

I'm positive that I'll try my hardest to follow my parents example and give my kids the most perfect life I can ... and they can just deal with the feelings of being overwhelmed and scared because they've never faced disappointment.

Now, I better send this to my mom so she knows how much I appreciate her giving me all those " I never...." statements listed above!

Expressing Myself

I just told someone (almost) everything I've been wanting to tell them for a really long time. It felt good to get it off my chest and to let this person know the way they were treating me. I hope that it gets better. But I'm going to continue to express my feelings to her each time she angers me instead of letting it bottle up. That is what she requested but I don't think is going to like it. haha.

Grass is always greener...

I'm starting to realize that the grass is always greener on the other side.That I always seem to think that someone's life is prettier, more manageable, less complicated, easier, etc than my own. However, by realizing this... You can accept that it is ridiculous. I look at people's facebook pages and I see all the 'stuff' they have, all the vacations they are going on, all the fun they are having, how exciting their life looks. There are a few people in particular that I find myself being jealous after seeing their pictures. One lady lives in a huge house, always talks about shopping, has nice cars, goes on fabulous vacations, is a stay at home mom, and likes to rub it in my face. She actually probably has no idea that I find myself jealous. After 'researching' deeper I'm pretty sure that she never sees her husband because he is always working and she might actually live with her parents (so all the stuff isn't hers). Appearances aren't what they seem. I bet her life is wonderful but it just shows me that I need to be thankful for what I have and not focus on the things I don't have. It is a delicate balance between motivation/drive/wanting better and never being satifsfied. I'm working on it.

Ranting

I'm just a little sick of everyone telling me that the babies are so good and I'm so lucky. I don't think it us luck. I worked hard everyday for 7 months to train the babies! When someone comes over and wants to (for example) pick up a baby when she is eating I say "no she needs to learn to hold it herself". That person looks at me like I am horrible. That same person will then comment a different day about how great the babies are and can do things for themselves. Yeah, I know! I work hard teaching them to entertain, feed, and soothe themselves. THAT is why they are such good babies. Get sick of ppl criticizing the process but loving the reward.

Why is it when kids are bad the parents get blamed but when they are good the parents get no credit?

Sleeping Through the Night

After 6 months of 'not sleeping' at all through the night, my twins have reached a new milestone. For the past 2-3 weeks we have been pretty consistant about sleeping from 6:30pm to 6:00am. In case anyone wants ideas:
1. Separate the twins into different rooms
2. White noise music --- in both rooms so one cannot hear the other
3. Eliminate nighttime feedings. Cut it down to 1 a night and he/she will cry until that specified time. Once that is consistant, eliminate them all together. You can soothe the baby any other way but cut out the need for a bottle.
4. Let the baby cry. I never had a certain time limit like some books suggest but every mom knows the 'whining cry' and the 'help me cry'. In my opinion, the whining cry is acceptable for a certain amount of time. I NEVER thought that this would work. My boy is a mommy's boy and had slept in my room for the first 6 months. I thought he would freak out. I was wrong. I think he slept better alone without hearing me move around and quietly cough. My girl has always slept alone in her crib but has a temper and has the 'help me cry' all the time. Once I figured out that she only cries for a maximum of 5 minutes, I realized that it won't hurt her. There was nothing 'wrong' she is just crazy!
5. Consistant. I do not want to wake up at 6:00am on weekends but if it means the babies sleep through the night most nights, I will gladly wake up. You have to keep up the same schedule despite days off. We have had our routine for about 4 weeks. It is only now that I would be comfortable altering the schedule a little bit. Such as not getting baths at 6:00. Maybe push it back 30 min to an hour.

It can be done. I promise. My husband has been gone (Army) for 6 weeks. I thought it would be a nightmare without him. In some cases it is easier. There isn't the 'fighting' going on at 3am when one person just wants to give in and get the infant and the other is trying to be strong and let him/her cry it out. It is a blessing in disguise.

I would say that about 2 times a week I have to get up with one of them. To help him turn to his belly or to give her a little bottle (bc she didn't finish her nighttime bottle bc too sleepy). That is perfectly fine with me. Two 7 month olds each only waking 1 time a week is heaven!

One-Liners about Twins.

I know why God gave me twins---I would obsess over one and never leave him/her alone.

My quest for perfection in every aspect of my life has stopped. Nothing can be perfect with twins.

My best advice for parents of twins? Stop listening to people's advice to parents of twins.

Once I accepted that my twins are individuals who cannot be forced onto the same feeding schedule or have the same sleeping patterns, my life became instantly manageable.

Life with two infants is easy; it is all the other stuff that gets in the way of the fun.

It bothers me when people watch the babies for a few hours and then claim it is easy. Please visit us at 3am when both are screaming and there aren't enough hands to make anyone happy.

Twins are a lifestyle. You commit to the madness and enjoy the ride.

The day both my babies slept through the night was the best day I've ever had. Yes, better than the day they were born. If you don't understand that statement, then consider yourself lucky that you didn't have 5 months of sleep deprivation. By deprivation I mean 2 to 3 hours on nonconsecutive sleep each night.

"Yes, they are twins. No, they aren't identical" is the #1 phrase I say when I go to the store.

When I get overwhelmed, I look at pictures of triplets.

First Post!

I've wanted to blog for awhile now but kept forgetting when I got a chance to start one. I have lots of things to say about my new life with twins but not really anywhere to say them. I tend to write something down on my bedside table when I think of it and have lots of 'one-liners' that I like to think are pretty profound.

I want to say that I plan on this blog being semi-private so I apologize up front if any family that I complain about it ever read it. But a lot of my problems come from other people. My twins and I are doing amazing and their issues are easy to handle. It is all the other people in my life that tend to give me the most problems.

It drives me nuts when people say that they will help and then don't. THAT is why I don't ask for help. Honestly, I don't want anyone to come over and help me. I would like someone to come over and give me a break--maybe to go grocery shopping or to just get out. But 45 min. out of the house isn't a break so don't think that you are helping too much.

Alos, the twins and I have a schedule. I don't care if ANYBODY agrees with that schedule but nobody will make me break that schedule.

Alright, well that post was negative. I'll try and be more positive in the future!